hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
