Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
