you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
