Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
