Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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