There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
