so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
