i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
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