Well douche your snatch and let's go!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
