I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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