how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
