if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
