Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
