The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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