So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
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