You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
