piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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