They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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