Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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