she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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