It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
