It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
