What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
