Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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