I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i out mim tonsoeep
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