yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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