Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
