I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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