That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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