dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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