I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
