then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's just like the Real World with babies
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
