at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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