All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
