420 ftw
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
