He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Randomize
