Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
