I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
