im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
