This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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