Three words: puerto rican gang bang
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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