If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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