Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
