apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
