recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
