its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
