just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
