My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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