I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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