I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
